If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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