She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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