Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
