great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
