But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
