just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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