i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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