Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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