I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
