I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
