Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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