Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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