whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
