is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
