Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
