just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize