ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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