he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
