He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
