I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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