talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
