I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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