Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
