Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
