do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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