at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
