No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
