New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
