Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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