Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
