so explain again why im purple
no
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
