I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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