just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
