hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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