Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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