Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
