Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
