I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
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I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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