dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
