marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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