hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
