That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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