you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just forgot I was standing up.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
