dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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