I just gift wrapped bread.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize