Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Green mimosas i think yes
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
