Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
