Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
