the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
