when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
