he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
