I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
