That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
