dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
