Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
