therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Found your dick twin last night
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
