JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
