my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
