Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
