the condom got lost in my hair
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
