update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
